I always have a moment of internal cringe when I see someone using the word “spastic” in a non medical sense. Like I know tumblr is US based and all, but “spastic” or “spaz” is considered to be a huge slur against disabled people in the UK, like it’s on par with r*tard, and yet I see it everywhere on here, enough to the point where I’ve just blacklisted it to avoid it.
And this isn’t a “you’re a monster for using this word” kinda post btw, I’m just realizing maybe people aren’t aware it’s an ableist term.
As are most of our derogatory words tbh. A lot of insults are based on making comparisons to disabilities. Which makes it very hard to weed them out your lexicon. I still slip up and use words like “idiot” or “dumb” from time to time, but I’m making a real effort not to since I became aware of it. It’s hard, but rewarding in that it has made my insults feel like I’m on The Good Place, so there’s that.
Hm. So, I’m often an ignorant bench – I did some googling, and I know that ‘dumb’ is slang for mute, but why is ‘idiot’ bad?
I know all derogatory words are based on comparing one person to a group that is supposedly ‘lesser’ – a la, all the ‘women’ ones, and then ‘fat, lame, dumb’, etc. But why ‘idiot’? Is labeling someone as having zero intelligence —oh.
Just got it.
Huh.
Well, goddamnit, @thebibliospherehow are we supposed to make people feel bad, then?
Wait.
…
…
…
I might be having a revelation.
#might have to just change my whole outlook on life now
That pretty much sums up how I felt when I realized it too haha. It was overwhelming at first to realize just how needlessly cruel my language was, but I’ve felt better about life in general since I’ve elected to use kinder words. “Walnut” is my favorite. I use it a lot for myself. I have a bad habit of putting myself down and tend to refer to myself as “stupid” a lot (which like “idiot” was also once a medical term for people with disabilities) so instead when I do something I call myself a walnut now instead. It’s funnier and sounds silly but without the inherent nastiness of stupid.
I’ve seen several post about this from you and thought about it a lot and I was wondering, what do you say when you are frustrated and need to let it out?
Like, I don’t know if it’s because I’m french, or because we love to use slang and idioms and swearwords in my family but I do swear a lot when I feel free to it. And since I work with children I take extra care to clean and clarify my language with them (and sometimes I get very tired of it, like after talking in a whole other language for a long time)
I remember promising myself to not use some swears like slut or “enculé” (witch basically means “dude who gets fucked in the ass” because I don’t like to use someone sexuality as a weapon, and I did hold onto that. But sometimes, I have a very hard time controlling my emotions and I need to vent. I don’t yell my swears in someone face, but in private, when I’m sharing a story with a friend, I’ve yet to found something as satisfying as “what a dumbass” and “quel abruti”(”moron”, I guess). Do you have any suggestion for that?
Oh I still swear up a storm haha.
But I also try and find ways to be more creative if someone is really annoying me. Like I’m not above calling someone an asshole or “a streak of piss” if it’s warranted. If someone is being frustratingly unreasonable, I will call them “you fucking obstinate ass” rather than “you fucking moron”. Or I try to. As I said before, it’s really hard to weed these words out your language when they’re so commonplace.
“Fucktrumpet” is also a good one for people who just refuse to see reason. Not sure what that’d be in French though…
I also try to avoid insults that focus on features. Because features are not something someone can control, and should not be used to call out their behavior. So avoiding things like “you big-eared walnut” is unnecessary when you can just go for “you absolute walnut.” (Or whatever kind of benign replacer word you want to use.)
“Tube” is a good Scottish one, as is “scunner”. People generally know to start running when I resort to that one. If only because my Glasgow accent emerges and throttles the Midwestern twang I’ve picked up it makes it absolutely known that there is about to be a murder.
